Body Repair
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TUNE UPS

　Prewriting
　First Draft
　Revising
　Final Draft
　Sample Essays

Complete Essay

• Sample 1
  

Introduction

• Sample 1
  
• Sample 2
  
• Sample 3
  
• Sample 4
  

Career Plans

Introduction Paragraphs: Sample 1

　　Creating an environment suitable for human living when resources are limited is a challenging problem for modern society. My strong interest in photography and art has compelled me to become especially observant of the relationship between human beings and the environment. I have come to realize that the environment we live in has suffered much damage from pollution and lacks competent planning, making it difficult to find beautiful scenery to photograph or sketch. I began thinking that I could make use of my artistic gift and concern about the interest in the environment by entering the field of landscape design and putting my effort into beautifying our surroundings. There, after completing high school, I entered the Department of Landscape Architecture at XYZ University.

Comment:
　　Compared to most essay introductions written by Chinese students, this sample is relatively original. The author uses the first paragraph to outline the reasons for her interest in landscape architecture. The author's inclusion of specific details, such as her interest in photograph and art and the difficulty in finding scenery to photograph or sketch, provides the reader with specific insights into the author's background and interests. This paragraph may have been more effective with a few more specifics. For example, when exactly did the author's interest in art and photography begin? What specific kind of environment damage did she frequently observe? Or is she more concerned with urban planning than environmental damage? These types of details could be added without making the paragraph much longer.